New life phases often bring up doubts and fears. Pregnancy brings up many. There was (and is still!) so much joy and excitement about this new addition in the first couple of months, but now that I am on the back half... I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed sometimes.
I've had a few little episodes of fear, but my first REAL one was yesterday. I was listening to a podcast about postpartum pregnancy and a pretty severe case of Diastasis recti. I had heard of this condition before but yesterday was the most information I had received about it.
The best definition that I've found of it is:
"During pregnancy, the growing uterus stretches the muscles in the abdomen. This can cause the two large parallel bands of muscles that meet in the middle of the abdomen to separate — a condition called diastasis recti or diastasis recti abdominis. Diastasis recti might cause a bulge in the middle of the abdomen where the two muscles separate." (https://wellnessmama.com/60398/diastasis-recti/)
The woman in the podcast is a CrossFit athlete (regionals level) and she was talking about how during her pregnancy she was very mindful about listening to her body and so she still to this day is not exactly sure where she "went wrong". I have had a similar approach in my pregnancy. Scaling where I feel like it's necessary but also just listening to my body on a daily basis and only doing things that I feel 100% ok with (for instance, today I might have felt like jumping my burpees back felt yucky so I switched to step backs, but that's not to say that I might not try jumping them back again, it just depends on how it feels through my abdomen).
So after listening to this podcast, it made me wonder... am I doing things that are going to make my postpartum journey difficult?
I started to go down the rabbit hole... I spent so much time on the interwebs - half making myself more scared, and half just making myself crazy. So crazy scared- awesome combo.
This is about where my logic started to kick in thankfully. I closed the laptop, took some deep breaths and decided to sleep on it. I masterfully distracted myself with some Netflix (Hanna and Bad Blood are on the top of my list right now) and called it a night.
Today I have felt better and came to two major conclusions:
1.) Embrace your concerns and move on.
2.) More education is NOT always better.
When wandering into any unchartered territory - whether it's a new phase of life, a disease diagnosis, a new job, maybe you moved to new state - it can be a little paralyzing and many doubts are going to pop up in your head. It's important to not let these doubts and fears crash on top of you like a giant wave. I think sometimes we avoid these concerns because it seems TOO scary.
Let's go back to my giant wave analogy for a moment. Picture yourself standing on a steep beach, so that when the waves come in they are tall and crash down hard on the sand. Staying afraid and not dealing with your fear keeps you on the beach where the waves feel unmanageable and overwhelming. However, if you were to just wade into the water about 10 feet, past where the waves break, then you are in calmer water, gently bobbing up and down as the waves come in and out. This is the equivalent of embracing your concerns. Avoiding them feels scarier because it is the UNKNOWN that drives you crazy, but once you see them for what they are, they feel less stressful. Sometimes discovering where the concern comes from is the most powerful thing to propel and drive you forward.
Here's the most important part about your concerns: after you recognize and embrace them you must MOVE ON. There is no point in re-hashing the concern and swirling up additional stress when you have already dealt with it. It is natural for the concern to pop back in your head, but when it does just acknowledge it for what it is- something you have already dealt with and can do no more with. Worry will NOT help your concerns. It's absolutely counter-productive.
More education is not always better; which is really a shame because in the age of the internet there is literally ENDLESS information out there on ANY topic. Here's a good rule to follow: allow yourself 3-5 sources to look into, and then STOP. Sources can include friends and family members (each individual friend and/or family member counts as one source), books, magazines, articles, youtube, documentaries, social media (though not recommended by me personally), etc... I think you get the picture. Your information can basically come from anywhere but do not continue to look for more information past that 3-5 source mark. The reason for this is two fold:
1. Trying to look at unlimited information will drive you batty because there's simply too much. It's like putting your mouth on a fire hydrant and turning it on. Too much information will also end up being contradictory leaving you more confused than before.
2. Limiting yourself to an amount of sources forces you to be more mindful of where you are getting your information from. Instead of gathering information from 15 sources that mean nothing to you and will leave you reeling in a mix of information, gather four highly esteemed opinions that MATTER and will leave you feeling educated and well informed enough to proceed.
We need to remember that fear is NOT REAL. Fear is something we create and feel very intensely at times, but it is NOT REAL. Fear is in our brain and our perceptions. We are going to have fear. Period. It's unavoidable. But knowing how to combat it and extinguish it quickly can feel life-saving.
Have your concerns, but just remember that dwelling on them is not productive and embracing them will not only help you grow, but will also best equip you for what is yet to come. So you can have your fear, but combat it too.