Post giving birth, after cooing over the adorable newborn, it seems that the next question everyone seems to have is, "How are you going to get your body back?" or something to that nature. I know that for the most part this is just people knowing that I come from an active lifestyle and that I am a personal trainer, but it still sort of seems like an insensitive thing to say to someone who just undergone a huge physical transformation.
For anyone who does not think that last statement is true, has obviously never had a baby or has never been really close to someone who has. Think about it: the body takes 40 weeks to change and adapt to GROW A HUMAN. Your abdomen is literally rearranged to make space for the growing baby. I am not sure where this pressure to get the "body back" comes from, but with everything else going on after having a baby, it certainly should not be on the front of mama's mind. [Holding the space here tho for those that it IS a priority for- that's ok too- I am just saying that society has no right to put that pressure on a new mama with everything else going on.]
Mama's first priority should be just taking care of herself and her newborn. The body undergoes a massive amount of stress and trauma during birth, and it is very critical that postpartum the mother gives herself time to heal and focuses not on what her body looks like but what her body feels like. Vaginal tears, hemorrhoids, hemorrhages, nutrient depletion, and just generally being really sore and tired are a few of the things that a new mom is coping with. On top of that, she now has a baby who, if she is breastfeeding, is literally dependent upon her for survival, and will be attached (again literally) to her at least every two hours. And feeding the baby is not your only responsibility at this time! If they are concerned about milk production, chances are good that after feeding baby they're pumping their breasts to maximize production. So by the time they feed, burp, change their diaper, and then pump, they might have an hour before baby wakes back up and the cycle repeats itself. This doesn't leave a lot of rest time for the new mama, which is exactly what she needs to do.
Rest is so critical in those first couple of weeks, that I encourage any new mom to take any help that is offered to you. This might come in the form of meals, house cleaning, dog walking, holding the baby, grocery shopping, or other household chores. Smile, be very grateful, and accept the help (Ps. if you know of a family that has recently had a baby, groceries and/or a meal goes a LONG way).
I had my baby on a Monday night and the hospital had a minimum 24 hour stay, but really wanted us to stay 48 hours which I was not happy about. I wanted to get home and settled. So they tentatively scheduled us to be released Wednesday morning, but then Baby Jo's bilirubin levels were too high and she had to go under lights for 16 hours, pushing us to Thursday morning. Then her temperature dropped and she had to go under the heat lamps and we ended up not getting home until 5 pm Thursday evening. All this to say, my stay in the hospital ended up being longer than I wanted, BUT in hindsight it is probably good it worked out that way.
I was really lucky in that I felt really good post birth, and after the first 24 hours was feeling almost back to normal. But for anyone who knows me well, knows that it is hard for me to sit still, and accept help from people, so had we gone home when we were originally scheduled, I probably would have tried to get back into my schedule way too quickly (as it was I started walking the dogs again on Friday morning). Not resting enough after giving birth can have long term effects on mom and can even be life threatening so this needs to be taken really seriously.
Most healthcare providers recommend that mom not get back into any moderate physical activity until 4-6 weeks post having baby (this is what they recommend for vaginal births, I am not sure about cesarean). This allows the body to undergo basic recovery, like the uterus going back to the size it was, and allowing bruising to heal up. I was doing daily walks but didn't do my first real workout until I was almost 4 weeks postpartum. So I started back up a little early, but I was feeling really good and my bleeding stopped about a week or so prior. Even when starting back up, mom needs to be very diligent in listening to her body and not pushing herself too hard too quickly.
This is in particular to the core. Given where the baby is grown it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that your abdominal wall needs to be slowly and properly rebuilt. This means that advanced ab movements may need to wait a bit longer to ensure that you are connecting to that deep core and not doing more harm than good. This is so important that I recently wrote an entire post about strengthening and connecting to that deep core.
By and large I just want this stigma of getting the "body back" to go away... Like far far away. Is it ok for mom to care about what her body looks like postpartum? ABSOLUTELY! But this needs to come with a giant asterisk. You will never get your "body back" because A) YOU NEVER LOST IT, and B) your body is forever changed after what it has done, and I don't mean that in a bad way! It's just that after your body has gone thru birth, it will never be exactly the same again, and that's fine. It doesn't mean that you can't be as healthy (or healthier!), or as strong (or stronger!), or as sexy (or sexier!) as you were pre-baby. It just means that you need to acknowledge that what your body has done is powerful and that it might be different than it used to be.
So moms, let's focus on being healthy and throw that stigma out with the trash. Let's take care of ourselves because that's how we can best take care of our families.