On Tuesday I was in my second trimester pregnancy class with my midwives. The class is just to go over some basic information that we might not know about healthy prenatal care, as well as things to consider going into the birthing process. Towards the end of the class the idea of doing a daily meditation was suggested as it's great for mindfulness as well as relaxing the body. Then they put on a guided meditation through an app on the iPhone that we were all supposed to do together. I glanced up at the tv screen paired with the phone and blanched when I saw that this meditation was 29 minutes long...
TWENTY-NINE MINUTES!!! I wanted to spell it out for you in case you thought there was a typographical error. I wish there had been! Luckily, we only did the first five minutes and then faded it out. They wanted us to experience it but also try and stay on schedule in the class. WHEW!
I started thinking about how appalled I was about the length of the meditation on the drive home. I consider my quiet time and prayer a part of my daily morning routine and I love it! So why would turning off your mind and letting go of your body for 29 minutes be such a big deal?
Maybe a more common scenario would be at the end of a yoga class during savasana. Anyone else making their grocery list or mentally organizing the errands during that time?
WHAT IS THAT???
Turns out- it's not just me (or me and you because I know you were nodding your head with me!). In today's culture, Americans struggle with not having distractions and quieting their minds. Many studies attribute this to our connection to technology. It's very rare these days that you don't have your phone on you, and even more rare that in a moment of downtime, that you don't pull it out to see what you have missed. People have tracked how many times they check their phone in a single day and it was regularly over 200 times - that's over eight times an hour and not taking into account that you aren't checking your phone for approximately eight hours of that while you are sleeping.
It's also because Americans have adopted this lifestyle mantra that busy is better. We subscribe to the daily grind because that's just "what we do". We have somehow linked productivity to how busy we are, even if that means meaninglessly spinning our wheels.
Through our lifestyle habits we have programmed ourselves to always be in a stimulated state. So after years of living this way, it's no wonder that many of us struggle with the quiet moments. And it's really a shame because meditation, or mindfulness as some say (whatever floats your boat), is extremely beneficial. A study performed by MIT and Harvard neuroscientists demonstrated that meditation can help decrease pain in chronic disease, reduce stress levels, and increase focus ability. Other studies have found that meditation can increase deep sleep and promote general feelings of happiness.
Ummm yeah... I want all of that. Who wouldn't?
But why does it still sound so terrible? Because we aren't used to it and we are envisioning a much larger task than it needs to be.
To start meditating, don't try and do a 29 minute guided meditation your first day... too much too fast. Instead, try committing to five minutes daily for a week and see how you feel. Is your mind still drifting about halfway through? Are you connecting to your body and the present moment? If you feel like you are still struggling with these things, don't increase the time just yet and continue with your five minute meditations, only increasing the time when it feels good for you.
I know some people who have meditated for years and some enjoy it for 20 or 30 minutes a day - which is great and it works for them so that's amazing. However I know other people who simply do not go past 10 minutes - that's their max (one person specifically says 12 minutes is their magic number). And so the point is, that it's not one size fits all. If you can't get past the 10 minute mark without stressing about work, or planning your weekend, that's ok.
Being hard on yourself about the time that you can successfully dedicate to this practice is absolutely crazy. Yes, I said it - CRAZY. The whole point is to honor yourself and your space and quiet the mind. It's not a place of judgment, but openness and peace. So when you are learning how, give yourself the space to make "mistakes." If you find your mind wandering where it shouldn't be, that's ok, just acknowledge that you will think about that later, and bring your thoughts back to the present moment. But don't chastise yourself for wandering!
Think about it. If you were learning any other skill, say a clean and jerk, since I know a lot of the readers love their lifting, you wouldn't rebuke yourself for not doing a perfect clean and jerk the first time you tried. You would merely accept some feedback and then try and do better the next time. No judgment, no ridicule, it's just that learning something new takes time.
I typically like to have my quiet time (that's what I call it) in the morning, but other people swear that it helps them sleep better at night to do it after they have shut off all their devices and are heading to bed. So whether you make it part of your morning or evening (or afternoon!) routine, try it out and you just may find that quieting your mind for five minutes a day, opens up the perfect space in cultivating some self care that's long overdue.