Dealing with Disappointment

Ok fine - you're right. I've been putting this post off for a full week because I didn't want to write it. My reflections on 18.4... ughhh... This was a rough one for me guys. For those of you who don't CrossFit I won't go into detail about what 18.4 was, there is just one thing you need to know about it.

Hand. Stand. Pushups.

Even though I have decently strong shoulders, this movement and I have never quite been on the same page. And honestly, it was this workout and the new standard that had to be met that made me see exactly why and what I need to work on. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

A handstand push up is exactly what it sounds like. You kick up against a wall with your arms and legs fully extended. You lower your head down to the floor and then extend your arms back to your starting position. You are allowed to do a "kip" which allows you to use momentum to get you back into this fully extended position. The kip consists with you bringing your knees into your armpits and then throwing your feet as you push with your hands, therefore easing some of the weight off your shoulders. Because the CrossFit Open is a worldwide competition, there are standards to the movements that have to be met so everyone is on the same playing field. In this case a height is determined based on each athlete's stature that they must reach in the handstand position, therein making sure each athlete is fully extended for every single rep. If the pre-determined height is not met during the rep, then that rep doesn't count, and your judge would "no rep" you.

Fast forward to the end of the time cap for 18.4 and I completed 17 handstand push ups. I don't have an exact count of the number of no reps, but it was at least equal to if not greater (most likely greater) than the number of reps completed.

Utter disappointment. I felt tears starting to pool in my eyes as friends stepped forward to tell me good work and offer high fives. I tried to graciously accept their words while at the same time moving past them and away from the crowd of people.

As anything challenging often does, this movement exposed a weakness of mine. Two keys in reaching the predetermined height for this movement is not having your hands too wide, and not letting your core go (which results in an arching of the back). My hand positioning was fine. My core was not. As I got tired I let my back hyperextend so even though my arms reached full extension, my back was so arched that my feet would not break the plane of the pre-determined height.

I'm going to say something super obvious, but feeling disappointed sucks. And while feeling downtrodden can be difficult to overcome, you can use it to your advantage as an opportunity to re-evaluate and grow. Sometimes you don't realize your shortcomings until it is slammed in your face, and instead of retreating from the moment and making excuses, be honest in the situation and evaluate objectively. How can you improve? What could you do better or differently next time? I think sometimes we get so caught up in perception, that we think if someone sees us working on something then we are weak or not "good enough".

Which actually doesn't make any sense at all. When we see someone working to improve themselves we admire them for their tenacity and dedication. So why don't we see ourselves through that same lens?

Something to remember is that even elite athletes work on their craft. They got to where they are by working relentlessly and then they maintain and improve their skill by putting in the hours. Improving in something takes work. Period. Always. End of story.

Allowing yourself a short pity party after a disappointment is fine. But allowing yourself to be defined by it is not. Use the experience as a nudge in a positive direction and be better because of it.

The last week of the Open is here! Let's finish strong and crush 18.5!